BREAKING NEWS: Pittsburgh All-star pirates ⭐ Paul Skenes has been suspended by……. view more

🛑 BREAKING NEWS: Pittsburgh All-Star Paul Skenes Suspended by MLB After Controversial Incident

In a shocking turn of events, Pittsburgh Pirates All-Star pitcher ⭐ Paul Skenes has been suspended indefinitely by Major League Baseball following a late-night incident involving a hot dog cannon, a rogue parrot, and several gallons of nacho cheese.

According to league officials, the incident took place after the Pirates’ win over the Milwaukee Brewers on Saturday night. Skenes, celebrating his 10th strikeout of the game, allegedly commandeered the team’s promotional hot dog launcher and began firing brats into the upper deck while riding the team mascot’s scooter.

Eyewitnesses say the situation escalated when the team’s parrot mascot, Pirate Pete, attempted to intervene and was accidentally drenched in nacho cheese from a nearby concessions cart. “It was absolute chaos,” said one fan. “But also… kinda awesome.”

While no injuries were reported, the league issued a statement Sunday morning citing “conduct unbecoming of a professional athlete,” and placed Skenes on administrative suspension pending further review.

“We respect Paul’s contributions to the game,” said MLB commissioner Rob Manfred, “but All-Star caliber cheese fights are not covered in the rulebook.”

Skenes, who leads the National League in strikeouts and facial expressions on the mound, issued an apology through his agent:

“Paul regrets the cheese-related chaos and promises to channel his energy into throwing fastballs, not food.”

The Pirates have yet to comment publicly, though sources inside the clubhouse say the team is “80% concerned, 20% impressed.”