░B░R░E░A░K░I░N░G ░B░R░E░A░ 🅱️🆁🅴🅰️🅺🅸🅽🅶 ░B░R░E░A░K░I░N░G 🅱️🆁🅴🅰️🅺🅸🅽🅶 ░B░R░E░A░K░I░N░G I CAN’T BELIEVE HE IS GOING: colorado Avalanche center Craig Nathan MacKinnon had Submitted Resignation letter to ….see more

📰 ░B░R░E░A░K░I░N░G ░N░E░W░S░ (SATIRE)

“I CAN’T BELIEVE HE IS GOING”: Colorado Avalanche Star Nathan MacKinnon Submits Resignation Letter

The hockey world is reeling after reports emerged that Colorado Avalanche center Craig Nathan MacKinnon (yes, apparently we’re adding “Craig” now) has submitted his resignation letter to team management — an unprecedented move in the history of the National Hockey League.

According to (definitely not verified) sources, the letter was hand-delivered early this morning, written on Avalanche stationery and allegedly beginning with the words, “Effective immediately, I am taking my talents… to the couch.”

Fans in Total Shock

Within minutes, social media went into meltdown mode. The hashtag #MacKinnonResigns began trending worldwide as fans expressed disbelief, confusion, and — in some cases — pure denial.

“Resignation?? That’s not even a thing in hockey!” tweeted one fan.
“Did he have to give two weeks’ notice before leaving the power play?” joked another.

Inside the “Letter”

While no official statement has been released by the Avalanche, anonymous insiders claim MacKinnon’s note cited “irreconcilable differences with alarm clocks, practice schedules, and penalty kills.”

One teammate (who may or may not have existed) revealed:

“He said he just wants to skate for fun again — maybe start a beer-league dynasty.”

Avalanche Front Office “Processing Emotions”

Team officials reportedly held an emergency meeting in which no one could figure out whether to treat this as a trade request, a retirement, or an HR paperwork error.

Coach Jared Bednar allegedly sighed and said,

“I thought he was joking… until he cleaned out his locker and took the team’s espresso machine.”

A Legacy on Ice

If true (it’s not), MacKinnon would leave behind an incredible legacy: Stanley Cup champion, MVP finalist, and possibly the first NHL player ever to resign instead of retire.

But until anything official emerges, most fans are treating this “resignation” as what it is — an internet fever dream with a sprinkle of wishful thinking and way too many emojis.