TOUCH DOWN A FEW MINUTES AGO: Seattle Mariners Center fielder Julio Rodríguez Has Been Banned from Baseball Activities by MLB Officials After He Tested Positive for…

TOUCH DOWN A FEW MINUTES AGO: Seattle Mariners Center Fielder Julio Rodríguez Banned from Baseball Activities by MLB Officials After He Tested Positive for… Excessive Swagger

In a shocking and unprecedented move, Major League Baseball officials announced that Seattle Mariners’ All-Star center fielder Julio Rodríguez has been temporarily banned from all baseball activities after allegedly testing positive for… Excessive Swagger.

According to sources close to the league office, Rodríguez’s on-field energy, dazzling home run celebrations, and perfectly timed bat flips have “exceeded the league’s recommended levels of confidence and charisma.”

“We’ve never seen anything like it,” said MLB spokesperson Carl Fenway. “Our equipment couldn’t even register his swagger levels during a recent post-home run strut. It overloaded the sensors.”

🚨 MLB’s Statement

The league released a brief but stern statement:

“Julio Rodríguez has been suspended indefinitely pending a full investigation into his apparent overdose of drip, vibes, and overall excellence. This behavior, while crowd-pleasing, may pose a risk to opposing pitchers’ self-esteem.”

The Mariners organization responded with full support of their star outfielder, stating:

“Julio Rodríguez is guilty of nothing more than being the most electric player in baseball. We’re appealing this ridiculous ruling immediately.”

🎤 Player Reaction

When asked for comment, Rodríguez replied coolly:

“They can ban me from the field, but they can’t ban me from being him.”

He then winked, tossed a sunflower seed into his mouth from ten feet away, and walked off to sign autographs for a crowd of stunned but enthusiastic fans.

💥 Fallout

The incident has sparked wild debate across the baseball world. While traditionalists call for a return to “more humble celebrations,” fans are flooding social media with the hashtag: #FreeJulio.

Even rival players have spoken up:

“It’s not his fault he’s cooler than the rest of us,” said Angels slugger Mike Trout. “Honestly, I wish I had half his drip.”

Meanwhile, MLB has reportedly begun reviewing archived footage of other players for signs of Excessive Swagger — a charge that, until now, had only been leveled at Ken Griffey Jr. in the mid-90s.