GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS UNDER FIRE: Golden State warriors National Basketball Association team has been suspended for participating in all NBA activities due to head coach Steve Kerr failure to….. see more

GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS UNDER FIRE

Entire Team Suspended After Shocking League Violation Linked to Steve Kerr

In an unprecedented move, the NBA has suspended the entire Golden State Warriors franchise from all league activities following an internal investigation that uncovered a bizarre and troubling violation of league rules. At the center of the scandal? Head coach Steve Kerr — and a surprising case of unauthorized llama therapy sessions during team practices.

According to sources within the NBA, Kerr allegedly brought in a herd of llamas to the Warriors’ training facility earlier this season as part of an unconventional “mental resilience” program. The sessions, which took place behind closed doors, were never approved by team doctors or the NBA’s health and safety board.

“It started with just one llama named Kevin, then suddenly we had five. They were everywhere. Locker room, film study, even mid-timeout huddles,” said one anonymous player. “We didn’t question it — it was Kerr.”

The NBA cited multiple violations of health protocols, unauthorized use of live animals on league property, and “general confusion” caused by the animals’ presence. The final straw came when one llama reportedly bit an assistant coach during halftime of a scrimmage.

Commissioner Adam Silver announced the suspension this morning in a press conference.

“We have never had to discipline an entire franchise before, but we cannot allow emotional support livestock to become a distraction in the league. We urge all teams to stick to licensed therapy professionals, not Peruvian pack animals.”

As part of the ruling:

• The Warriors will be barred from all NBA-sanctioned activities for 90 days.
• Steve Kerr is suspended indefinitely pending a psychological evaluation.
• All llama-related programming at the Chase Center has been canceled.

Kerr released a brief statement this afternoon:

“I stand by my methods. The llamas brought us closer. They spit wisdom.”

Meanwhile, Warriors star Stephen Curry was seen leaving the practice facility with what appeared to be a travel-size bale of hay and a concerned look on his face.

The NBA Players Association is reportedly working on an appeal, while animal rights groups have called for a full investigation into the llamas’ working conditions.