I CAN’T BELIEVE HE IS GOING: Canberra Raiders Head Coach Ricky Stuart Has Submitted Resignation Letter to the Head of…

In what fans are calling the most shocking moment since the Raiders wore lime green without warning, long-time Canberra Raiders head coach Ricky Stuart has reportedly submitted his resignation letter — not to the NRL, not to the board, but, bizarrely, to the head of catering at GIO Stadium.

The unexpected move has thrown the rugby league world into utter confusion.

“I just had enough… of the meat pies.”

In a handwritten letter (reportedly scribbled on the back of a game plan for round 25), Stuart expressed gratitude for his time with the Raiders but cited “deep emotional fatigue from lukewarm stadium food and questionable sausage rolls.”

“I’ve coached Origin, finals, even handled the press after we lost to the Tigers. But nothing has tested me like the GIO Stadium curry,” Stuart allegedly wrote.

Sources close to the team say the resignation letter was mistakenly handed to the head of catering after Stuart stormed into the kitchen looking for a better brand of tomato sauce.

“He was muttering something about ‘being cooked’ and ‘too much salt’,” said an anonymous staffer. “We just thought he was reviewing the chips again.”

Players React

The Raiders squad was reportedly devastated by the news.

Captain Jack Wighton said: “We thought he was joking until he started packing his whistle and signed off the team group chat with just the word ‘Gone.’”

One player allegedly began a hunger strike in protest — though it only lasted until lunchtime.

Club Response

A club spokesperson tried to downplay the event, saying:

“Coach Stuart often submits dramatic letters after a loss or a bad coffee. We’ll give him 48 hours and a fresh sandwich, and he’ll be back.”

Despite the drama, Ricky Stuart was seen later in the day browsing lawnmowers at Bunnings, where he refused to comment but was heard yelling, “At least they’ve got better hotdogs here!”

What’s Next?

Rumors are already swirling about possible replacements. Early contenders include:

• A cardboard cutout of Mal Meninga
• ChatGPT with a clipboard
• Or simply letting Ricky coach from home via Zoom to avoid any more catering-related meltdowns

For now, Raiders fans wait with bated breath — and possibly improved food service — to see if their fiery coach will return to the sideline or retire to a peaceful life of judging barbecue competitions.