I CAN’T BELIEVE HE IS GOING: Kansas state wildcat power Forward Michael Beasley had Submitted Resignation letter to….see more

I CAN’T BELIEVE HE IS GOING: Kansas State Wildcat Power Forward Michael Beasley Submits Resignation Letter to… See More

In a move that has shocked literally no one except those stuck in a 2008 time loop, Kansas State University received a “formal resignation letter” this morning from none other than Michael Beasley, the former Wildcat power forward and 2008 NCAA phenom.

Beasley, who played just one season at Kansas State before being drafted No. 2 overall in the 2008 NBA Draft, apparently believes he is still on the roster—and is now stepping down.

“It is with deep emotion and spiritual awakening that I submit my resignation as starting power forward for the Kansas State Wildcats,” the letter reads. “I’ve decided to explore other options in life, including but not limited to: professional Uno competitions, culinary school, and maybe rejoining the NBA… again.”

The Kansas State Athletic Department issued a brief but polite response:

“We thank Michael for his brief but unforgettable contribution to the team—17 years ago. We are confused, but honored that he thinks of us often. We wish him the best in whatever timeline he believes he’s in.”

Sources close to Beasley say the former NBA player recently experienced what he described as a “reverse freshman year flashback” after binge-watching highlight tapes of himself on YouTube at 3 AM.

“He stood up and said, ‘I’ve got practice in ten minutes,’ and just walked out the door,” one friend commented. “We thought he was going to the gym. Turns out he was headed straight to Manhattan, Kansas.”

When asked why he felt the need to resign from a team he left in 2008, Beasley was philosophical.

“You never really leave college basketball. You just take a really long timeout.”

Fans on social media have reacted with a mixture of nostalgia and mild concern.

@KStateForever33: “Bro really thinks it’s still 2008. Someone get him a DeLorean or a reality check.”

@NBAWatchDog: “Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he dropped 30 on Duke tomorrow.”

Meanwhile, Kansas State head coach Jerome Tang has offered Beasley a spot on the team—but only as a “spiritual advisor and honorary water bottle whisperer.”