REPORT JUST NOW: Senior NFL writer for ESPN’s Bill Barnwell says the New Orleans Saints most likely to be banned due to…..view more

In what is being described as the most bizarre controversy of the 2025 NFL offseason, ESPN senior NFL writer Bill Barnwell has allegedly stated that the New Orleans Saints are the most likely team to face a league-wide ban—not for salary cap violations or locker room drama, but for “unquantifiable mystical interference.”

“Look, I’m not saying they have a competitive advantage due to supernatural forces,” Barnwell didn’t actually say. “But when your kicker nails a 70-yarder during a Category 3 hurricane, questions are going to be asked.”

According to the completely fabricated report, the NFL has launched a secret investigation into whether the Saints have been invoking local spiritual practitioners to “curse” opposing kickers and “bless” last-minute Hail Marys.

Sources close to the league (and definitely not made up) claim the Saints’ locker room features a hidden chamber containing a shrine dedicated to former players, jazz legends, and a mysterious “spirit of NFC South dominance.”

Fans React

Reactions from Saints fans have been predictably passionate.

“Of course we use voodoo,” said one local fan dressed in a Drew Brees jersey and holding a chicken foot. “You think we survived the NFC South with just talent?”

League Response

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, when asked about the issue during a press conference, blinked rapidly and replied, “No comment… but I do carry a salt pouch now.”

While Barnwell himself has made no such claim in reality, the very idea has ignited a wave of memes across social media, including doctored images of Saints players holding ritual candles on the sidelines and Drew Brees levitating during practice.

Editor’s Note:
This article is purely satirical and intended for entertainment purposes. Bill Barnwell has made no such statement, and the New Orleans Saints are not under investigation for any supernatural activity. Please do not cite this as real news unless you’re trying to curse your fantasy football rivals.