THIS IS THE BEST NEWS WE COULD HOPE FOR: His efforts and dedication have taken him to another position; Oklahoma City Thunders General Manager Sam Presti has promised to make Center fielder Chet Holmgren the new…..

— In a move that stunned both analysts and the Thunder’s mascot, Oklahoma City Thunder general manager Sam Presti announced Tuesday that 21-year-old big man Chet Holmgren will transition from the frontcourt to a brand-new role: the franchise’s official Team Architect & On-Court Strategist — a hybrid position designed (in this fictional scenario) to harness Holmgren’s unique skill set both on and off the court.

“This isn’t a demotion. It’s the next evolution,” Presti said in the tongue-in-cheek press conference staged inside the Paycom Center’s media suite. “Chet’s blend of court vision, floor spacing and uncanny feel for timing makes him perfect to influence lineups, draft conversations, and, frankly, call a few plays where the coaches are otherwise stuck.”

Holmgren, who was described by teammates as “tall enough to see over the city skyline and humble enough to make it work,” accepted the mock appointment with his trademark calm.

“I’ll still be out there blocking shots and knocking down threes,” Holmgren quipped. “But if Sam wants me to draw up where he sits at the table and what color tie he wears, I’ll help out. I’ve been sketching pick-and-rolls in the locker room for weeks.”

The fictional job — complete with a ceremonial clipboard, a customized headset labeled “Architect,” and a parking spot painted in gradient blue — is said to involve three humorous responsibilities:

1. On-Court Micro-Adjustments: During timeouts Holmgren will (in this imaginative account) step forward to suggest small changes such as which wing to feed the ball to if the defense overhelps.

2. Draftroom Perspective: Holmgren will contribute “player-lifestyle profiles,” giving the front office a player-eye view of prospects’ long-term fit with Oklahoma City.

3. Community Building: As the team’s public face for improbable initiatives — think youth basketball clinics that double as ukulele lessons — Holmgren is expected to raise smiles and the franchise’s goodwill.

Media members pressed Presti on whether this whimsical appointment blurred lines between coaching and management. “We’re experimenting with new ideas,” Presti said, smiling. “If nothing else, it’ll make for a great TikTok series.”

Teammates offered playful endorsements. Veteran guard expressed mock concern that Holmgren’s busy architectural schedule might infringe on pizza night. A rookie, meanwhile, praised the concept: “If Chet says a pick-and-roll should be run in a certain way, you run it. He’s already spent five minutes explaining how the coffee machine relates to spacing.”

Analysts — in this fictional dispatch — predict that the move, while unconventional, could pay off culturally. “Chet represents a new player archetype: high-skill, cerebral, social-media-savvy,” one imaginary analyst said. “Turning him into a bridge between coaching and management might accelerate the Thunder’s identity-building.”

Not everyone is convinced. A skeptical (fictional) column warned that too many cooks can spoil a stew, and that mixing roster decisions with on-court responsibilities might create confusion. Presti countered with a laugh: “If confusion happens, blame our new Executive Assistant to the Architect. Her name is ‘Timeout Tina.’”

Whether or not this playful scenario ever materializes in reality — it’s a creative imagining built from optimism, a dash of organizational theater, and the affection Thunder fans have for a lanky, skillful center who already feels like the future — one thing is unmistakable: the franchise continues to search for identity and charisma in equal measure.