THIS THE BEST NEWS WE COULD HOPE: The manager Raymond Vermeulen as returned as the CEO of max verstappen, in monumental announcement the Head coach Bradley Scanes React in sucks concerning…. veiw more

THIS THE BEST NEWS WE COULD HOPE: Raymond Vermeulen Returns as CEO of Max Verstappen in Monumental Move; Head Coach Bradley Scanes Reacts in Confusion

In a breaking development that absolutely nobody saw coming—but somehow everyone was secretly hoping for—Raymond Vermeulen has reportedly returned as the CEO of Max Verstappen, a title that nobody understands but everyone agrees sounds incredibly powerful.

Yes, you read that correctly. Not CEO of Red Bull Racing. Not CEO of a tech startup. But CEO… of Max Verstappen himself. Human CEO? Driver CEO? Existential CEO? The details are unclear, but the announcement has already caused widespread celebration, confusion, and at least one spontaneous BBQ in the paddock.

Monumental? Yes. Logical? Debatable.

Vermeulen, who has long been associated with the Verstappen camp as his manager, now holds the newly rebranded title of CEO of Max, a role that reportedly includes responsibilities such as:

• Approving helmet designs
• Deciding how many times Max is allowed to say “It’s not ideal” during post-race interviews
• Managing Max’s hydration levels (via sparkling water only)
• Being generally around looking serious and Dutch

Scanes Reacts in… Sucks?

Following the announcement, Max’s performance coach Bradley Scanes was asked for comment. His official reaction? A cryptic statement simply reading:

“This… sucks? Or rocks? I’m not sure yet. I need electrolytes.”

Scanes, known for posting motivational content and helping Max stay fit enough to pilot a spaceship disguised as an F1 car, appeared both baffled and intrigued. Some say he’s considering a title change of his own to “Max Verstappen Head of Vibes,” but that remains unconfirmed.

The Internet Responds

Social media exploded within minutes of the announcement, with fans posting reactions ranging from “GOAT MOVE” to “What does this even mean??” One Reddit user declared, “Max Verstappen is now a Fortune 500 company,” while another tweeted, “Elon Musk is shaking.”

F1 meme pages are already flooded with flowcharts titled “Corporate Structure of Max Verstappen Inc.,” which may or may not include a board of directors featuring Max’s cat and Jos Verstappen as Chief of Old School Racing Opinions.

What Happens Next?

As for what this monumental move means for the 2025 season, analysts are split. Some say it’s just a PR stunt. Others believe this is the next evolution in athlete branding—forget race suits, we’re talking corporate mergers.

In any case, fans can sleep soundly tonight knowing that Max Verstappen now officially has a CEO. And that CEO is the one and only Raymond Vermeulen.

Stay tuned for more updates, and possibly a Max Verstappen IPO.