TOUCHDOWN FEW MINUTES AGO: Minnesota Twins Current Head Coach Rocco Baldelli Bans Pitcher Joe Ryan in …See More

In a wild and utterly confusing twist just moments ago, Minnesota Twins Head Coach Rocco Baldelli (yes, still a baseball manager) reportedly banned star pitcher Joe Ryan in what insiders are calling a “touchdown moment” — though this is baseball, not football, and the term is raising eyebrows across the sports world.

According to reports that may or may not have been written during a seventh-inning stretch hallucination, Baldelli stormed out of the dugout, pointed at Joe Ryan, and loudly declared:

“You’re out of the game — and out of bounds!”

Witnesses say Baldelli then signaled a touchdown before throwing a sunflower seed pouch in the air and retreating to the clubhouse.

⚾️ The Incident

The drama reportedly began when Joe Ryan, known for his electric fastball and iconic mustache, attempted to “call an audible” before throwing a pitch in the top of the 5th inning. Baldelli, confused by the football terminology, allegedly mistook it for a violation of baseball’s unwritten rules — or possibly a hidden blitz.

“This is baseball, not the NFL,” Baldelli was overheard saying. “No audibles. No touchdowns. No mercy.”

Ryan was pulled from the mound, reportedly benched, and banned from using any football metaphors during interviews or postgame handshakes.

🎙️ Joe Ryan Responds

After the game, Ryan addressed the bizarre situation:

“All I said was I wanted to ‘drop back and deliver a strike.’ Next thing I know, I’m banned and someone played the Monday Night Football theme over the stadium speakers.”

When asked if he plans to appeal the “ban,” Ryan shrugged and said:

“I just want to pitch, not get flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct.”

⚠️ League Reaction

• MLB: Issued no statement but quietly reminded teams that “touchdowns are not a valid scoring mechanism in baseball.”

• NFL: Issued a sarcastic tweet: “We’ll take Joe Ryan in the 2026 Draft.”

• Minnesota Vikings: Allegedly reached out to Ryan to discuss backup quarterback duties — just in case.

🧢 Final Word

Whether this was a misunderstanding, a moment of dugout madness, or just a long season catching up to everyone, one thing is clear: no actual touchdowns were scored in the making of this meltdown.

Joe Ryan remains a key part of the Minnesota Twins pitching rotation, and Rocco Baldelli is still managing baseball games — not football sidelines.